So, I haven’t been very active on this blog for a bit. I’ve been having a lot of depression and anxiety, and I lost interest in what I enjoy for a bit. I stopped knitting, I stopped writing, and spent most of my time just wanting to curl up and cry but trying to at least get things done. But, I’m back. I was recently put on a new medication that is helping a lot, and I am feeling much better.
A week ago, I got a tattoo, and I’m stoked about it. It’s a little semicolon on my left inner forearm, tattooed right over two self-harm scars from when I was fourteen. It stands for my commitment to be self-harm free, as well as to never try to commit suicide again. According to project semicolon, “A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.” There’s a photo of it at the top of this post.
Every time I’ve felt miserable in the last week, I’ve tried to look down at it and remember to carry on. Because we all need a reminder sometimes.
A note to you if you’re suffering too:
Life can be insanely, miserably hard sometimes. I send big hugs if that’s how it is for you right now. But in the hard times, sometimes we get blinded to the fact that our present situation is only temporary. And suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
In the moment, pain can consume you and cloud your vision and make it hard to see a way out. But there is, and God is the light at the end of the tunnel. He is the one who can bring you out of your situation and restore your joy and peace. He has done it for me countless times, and I trust that He will do it again. Will you hold on with me and start praying for God to restore your joy? He loves you and wants you to come to Him. Trust in Jesus, and He will bring you out of the dark place you’re in.